dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
