that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Naked Twister starts at high noon
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
