I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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