Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
