bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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