sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize