You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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