We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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