I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
