OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
