very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
