she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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