i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
