sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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