Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
