The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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