I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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