last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
