this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
