The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
