i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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