I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
