I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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