Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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