so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
