shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
from now on my penis is your penis
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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