Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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