This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
