Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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