Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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