i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
