she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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