Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
