Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
