my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize