VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
