do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We were destined to go to rehab together
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
