so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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