As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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