I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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