My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
