No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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