He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
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