Kiss
Puke
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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