So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
