Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
