Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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