i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
