My friends, they love my intelligence
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize