Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
