Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
