we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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