how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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