you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
