drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
