Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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