i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
