Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
