billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
