and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
