turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
