Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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