talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
