I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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