shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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