You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Randomize
